Can Babies Self Soothe?
Did you know babies are born with an underdeveloped brain?
When babies are born, they are born with underdeveloped brains compared to other mammals, isn’t that wild!? Think about it: baby mammals can stand and walk shortly after birth, but for us humans, it's a whole different journey. This idea leads back to the theory that the rapid growth rates of babies in the womb can put a lot of strain on a mother's body, so babies are born usually nine months of gestation. Once they are here, in those early month’s newborns depend on our nurture, responsive care, bonding and love to survive and help them thrive.
Can babies self-soothe?
Now, because we know that our little ones' brains are still growing when they are born, important skills like logic, empathy, problem-solving, and self-regulation haven't quite kicked in yet. Self-soothing or self-regulation has been a hot topic in the past few years debating whether babies can self-soothe. Let’s start by defining what Self-soothing is: its being able to go from feeling stressed and upset to a state of calmness. Like mentioned before, it’s a skill that you pick up over time with practice. Do babies have this skill? Well, in short, no, not right off the bat.
Let me break it down…
Understanding the Impact of Crying-it-out
Picture this: your little one is feeling upset because they're cold, hungry, uncomfortable, lonely, or just not quite themselves. Now, while it might seem like a quick solution you might be tempted to leave them to cry it out until they eventually stop (cue the crying-it-out method). Here's the thing, this approach doesn't actually teach little ones how to self-sooth. Instead, they're crying until they're exhausted, which means they haven't quite figured out how to manage their stress and those not-so-happy feelings like anger or fear in their still-developing brains. Plus, let's not forget about cortisol, the stress hormone, which can throw a curveball into their optimal brain growth if they're exposed to too much stress.
How to support your baby’s journey towards self-soothing?
Think of crying like a language that babies use to communicate, knowing that they're simply trying to convey their needs and feelings, it’s their very first way of expressing themselves. It's completely natural for babies to need our help in managing their emotions. A frequent challenge we encounter is discerning between a babies physical and emotional needs. It's natural for many of us to prioritise a quick response when we sense our little one is in pain, hungry, or uncomfortable. Sometimes, we might unintentionally overlook their emotional needs, perceiving them as less urgent. When it comes to those tough moments, like deciding whether to let them cry it out, remember this: leaving a baby to cry doesn't actually teach them how to cope with stress, instead, it can leave them feeling scared and alone, with no one there to comfort and guide them through it. Just place yourself in their shoes, you start to cry, hoping someone will come and hold you close, soothing away your worries.
Parenthood is also a journey of discovery and learning. Understanding your babies cries and picking up on the subtle hints isn’t always simple. However, what we can do in those though moments are offer comfort, be responsive, fill up their ‘love tank’, with a cuddle, a soothing voice, or just someone to hold them close, remember your presence is the most powerful tool you have, to help them navigate the ups and downs of babyhood. It not only strengthens the bond between you and your baby but also gives you that boost of confidence in your parenting journey.
We hope you found this useful! For more resources and guides, sign up to our newsletter and follow us on Instagram @kaleniandyou. With love, Kala & Deni x
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